my grandma noticed i was upset so she handed me this spaghetti noodle with a loop in it I’m so happy
(via orgasmic-humor)
We had to shave our cat because she had mats in her fur. But then she was cold. So we bought her a sweater.
It also came with a little hat.
My cat hates me.
(Source: 5liferuiningbastards, via orgasmic-humor)
is this masturbation?
nah this is like unlimited energy. my nigga made the tesseract
(Source: southsidelokos13, via madturbating)
no phone don’t autocorrect my i’s to capitals i need to look cool & casual for the internet
(Source: weirdalfan, via orgasmic-humor)
today in theater someone asked my friend if he was pro gay and he was like “im not pro gay but im not amateur gay either”
(via orgasmic-humor)
